It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
