Yo dont text me then not text me
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
