it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
