its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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