Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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