lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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