Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
try to milk me bitch
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
