Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
