Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
