sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
