NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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