My nipple is on Facebook.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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