Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
