I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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