shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
