okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
