____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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