Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
