thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
