just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You can't motorboat a personality
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
