I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
