I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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