I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
