Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
