If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
