And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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