i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
