just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
