If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
