i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize