are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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