Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
