We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
