i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
