she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
