When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
