He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
