Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
