I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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