Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
