doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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