You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
