AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
