I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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