a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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