The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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