I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
