Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
