i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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