nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
