i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
