one two three fourrrrnication!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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